Five tips for Making Friends your freshman year
We know that you’re coming to college to get an education, but we also know that you’ll never get by without the help of friends. Making friends can feel like an overwhelming task as you move into your dorm at James Madison University your freshman year. I get it! I am personally an introvert who loves people. I was so shy that I probably would have received a social anxiety diagnosis earlier, but some simple strategies have really helped me look for and find connections anywhere I go. Here are a few tips that will help ease your anxieties that are proven ways to help you make friends as you’re exposed to new people!
Don’t fall into the trap of being stuck on your phone
Nothing says, “I don't want to talk to you right now”, or “I don’t want to make new friends” as much as looking down at a screen or walking through campus with earbuds. Open yourself up to conversations and new people by making your eyes and ears free to pay attention to what is going around you, who may be around you and the events that may be happening.
Say “Hello” to people around you!
If you’re in class, making a light comment about the weather, the teacher, the books or even asking a question to students sitting around you can easily get things going. Follow up by introducing yourself and let the conversation begin there!
Have some “stock” things you can say to new people whether it’s commenting on the move-in process, what the weather is doing or even some things that you’re feeling or experiencing in a given moment. A light-hearted comment can go a long way.
Be curious!
Be a student of everyone you meet. Have a list of questions that are ready and easy to access that you just get used to asking everyone. Some examples of some questions you might ask would be:
Where are you from? What is your major? What dorm are you living in? Are you hoping to join any clubs?
As you meet someone, think of follow-up questions to the information you just learned about them. For example, if you just learned that your new friend is a social work major, ask them how they came to that decision.
Show others that you care
Follow up with new friends on their goals, accomplishments, struggles and desires. Once you find out that a person on your hall is having a hard time finding something they need for their first year, ask them about it a couple of days later if everything worked out! Or maybe you found out that your hall mate wants to join a club that has try-outs like dance or acapella. Next time you see that person, ask how their audition went or if there is any way to support them.
Share a little bit about your life
We can’t always wait to be asked a question in order to share our lives with others. Others need something to hold onto about us that makes it easier for them to remember us. Others also feel more emotionally close to us when we’re able to share information with them about our own lives, major, desires and background
Don’t shy away from emotions
Share your own emotions, anxieties and cares with others. If someone else opens up to you with an emotion - there’s no need to “solve” it! Just be curious, be a witness and ask them questions and follow up with how they’re feeling. Most people who are in crisis need someone to walk with, listen and witness. Most of us don’t need others to “fix” our emotions, just to ride them out with us and offer care and compassion. The more you’re in tune with your own feelings, the better friend you can be to others as well.